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Bring on the Challenges

Blessed to be challenged

There are so many things to be proud of as a Jew. We are blessed to be part of a wonderful community that looks after each other. It’s easy to get irritated, bitter and divisive, but that is not who we are. One of the three indicators that a person is a Yid is gomlei chassadim. That is who we really are. We are there for each other. There are so many groups offering services to those going through difficult times. Some focus on the well being of a child or children in crisis due to physical or mental health challenges. The latest organisation to open up in London is Lev Ariel. With the support of local choshuve Rabbonim, its aim is to help children who have a parent suffering with cancer R’’l. It’s very easy to focus on the sick parent whilst being blinded to the chaos facing children. Be’ezras Hashem they will succeed in creating a supportive environment fused with positive memories. They aim to provide weekly respite, outings, help with homework; and everything in between, enabling the child to feel that “every day is a special day.”



Closer to home in Manchester, I recently had the zechus to address a packed room of mothers who were enjoying a well needed and deserved two-day pampering extravaganza under the auspices of B’yachad. This organisation looks after mothers who have a child or children with extra needs. Walking into the room it was obvious how each mother was having an opportunity to recharge depleted batteries. The organisers thought of everything giving each lady the opportunity to feel more alive and ultimately the koach to resume the challenges of regular life. The theme of this year’s retreat was “Life as a gift, despite of challenges.”



I suggested that life is only a gift because of challenges. If life is simple and without challenge, then it has no value. Maggidim tell an anecdote where a Tzadik runs into a Shul, throws open the doors of the Oron Kodesh and begs Hashem to make his life more challenging, fearing that his easy life is an indication that Hashem had lost faith in him.



We know that we give challenges to those who can cope and succeed. When we lose faith in others, we stop asking them to do things, there is no point in watching someone fail. Consequently, those whose life is more challenging must have the capacity to ride the wave and emerge greater and more fulfilled. For the past 7 months, we have been supporting the holy farmers of Eretz Yisroel, those “Giborei Koach” who have the capacity to give brochos due to their exalted Emunah during shemita. Well, just take a moment to consider the emunah of a parent that has a challenging child or a sick spouse and year after year has emunah and doesn’t give up. Surely, these every day tzadikim are constant Giborei Koach. They might look frazzled and stressed, they might not be as glamorous or be able to attend all the socially acceptable kiddushim or simchas. It would be easy to dismiss them as lacking accomplishments, but in truth their lives are challenging, they have been given a tafkid in life that most would be unlikely to ask for. Yet Hashem chose them because they have greater capacity to deal with and overcome challenges.


In Pirkei Ovos the Mishnah asks, “who is considered wealthy.” The famous answer is one who is “sameach bechelko.” The Nesivos Sholom teaches that poverty and wealth are functions of attitude. We are wealthy if we realise that what Hashem gives us is the opportunity to become the best version of ourselves. Only then have we have received the greatest gift.



In an earlier Mishnah, Rabbi Akiva teaches that being informed about a gift is a greater kindness even if there is no difference to how the gift is experienced. For Rabbi Akivah being told that we are all created B’Tzelem Elokim is a greater kindness than not knowing. Rav Hirsch expounds “Tzelem Elokim is a wonderful gift even without being aware of it. We will naturally do many good things even though a person would not know why he was acting in that way. But this special favour from Hashem attained its full worth only by virtue of the fact that we were taught this.”




There are truths that we must internalise so that they become a part of how we act and think, otherwise we lose the very gift that Hashem is giving us. Regardless of personal circumstances, we must be aware of the inherent goodness in each person. Furthermore, we are responsible for not betraying ourselves, we must know how much we can achieve. When Chazal say “Ashreicha ba’olam hazah v’tov lach la’olam haba” they are teaching that our fortune or success is based solely on the fact that it facilitates entry into Olam Haba. Our individual talents and challenges are essential for the completion of our life mission. Without the challenge we wouldn’t be able to achieve. Hashem knows us best and whilst we might cheekily like to ask for an easier challenge or even no challenge, we know that we wouldn’t progress or make the effort needed to be successful without being pushed.



The Rambam tells us that part of ahavas Hashem, is the ability to thank Hashem b’simcha when life is tough. R’Chaim Shmulevitz comments that “we talk about things worth living for yet in our superficial view of life we fail to appreciate the most profound joy of all: life itself.” Further in the schmooze for Parashas Shemos R’Chaim quotes a fascinating midrash that wonders why the Torah couldn’t have been given to us via the Ovos. Yaakov is rejected because he was not tranquil, he didn’t fully appreciate life, especially one with challenges. In his conclusion we are taught a very beautiful understanding of life. There are two aspects of a Jewish life. We must live with a closeness to Hashem “Kirvas Elokim li tov”. This is achieved by appreciating the gift of being able to do any mitzvah. Life is not about comparing ourselves to others and judging our personal success against someone else’s achievement chart.



A parent who is exhausted due to looking after a child with extra needs or a child who is emotionally and physically shattered from having a sick parent should be lauded and praised for every single little act that brings them closer to Hashem. Ultimately this is true for all of us. Secondly, life is about strengthening the bonds that unite us to each other. Sharing worries and fears isn’t about human limitations but the hallmark of our greatness. We must not feel pressured to rush into trying to solve other people's problems, which often keeps us away from helping. A listening ear is so vital that it can literally transform a person's day. These are potentially overwhelming goals, yet “echad hamarbeh, v’echad hamamit” it doesn’t matter how much we achieve, we have to try and be’ezras Hashem, our efforts will be blessed.

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