We all want something. Sometimes, what we want is good for us individually as well as for society. Occasionally what we want is wrong, possibly embarrassing or humiliating. At the dawn of time, Chava wanted to eat from the Eitz Ha’daas. Her desire was aroused by the external beauty of the tree. She did something that only Hashem had done previously. The posuk tells us “She saw” and a made a judgement, just as Hashem had done throughout the creation narrative. She wished to emulate Hashem. Motivated by respect and the wish to be more like her Creator. What Chava misunderstood was the meaning behind the divine instruction she received. Hashem wasn’t giving her advice, He was telling her in absolute terms not to do something. Desires constantly arise from within us, only to be replaced by yet more desires. Without this continuous stream of desiring, there would no longer be any reason to do anything: life would grind to a halt, as it does for people who lose the ability to desire. It is desire that moves us and gives our life direction and meaning. We are so used to desiring that we are not conscious of our desires, which only register with us when they are very intense, or when they come into conflict with our other desires. Desires must be regulated successfully to ensure individual and societal well-being.
There is a very famous tale written by Rebbe Nachman called the Lost Princess (I can’t share it this week, but be’ezras Hashem will do in future weeks). The story is a metaphor and tells the story of a viceroy who devotes his life to locating a princess abducted from her father's palace and returning her home. The Breslover mashpiim explain that the princess represents the soul, faith, passion, inwardness, and wonder of youth that have become lost over time. The viceroy represents the souls of our generation, wandering through the darkness on a mission to reclaim the passion of youth.
At one stage, the viceroy must spend the entire year yearning and longing for the release of the lost Princess. Yearning for success in avodas Hashem is seen as a means to an end, an emotion which leads one to serve Hashem through emunah, Torah study, mitzvah observance, and acts of kindness.
In Sichos HaRan, Rebbe Nachman of Breslov teaches us that yearning is, in fact, a precious avodah in and of itself. Even though the connection between the viceroy’s yearning and the freedom of the lost princess may seem obscure, the princess informs him that it is entirely imperative for the ultimate success of his mission. The Zohar HaKadosh teaches that no good desire is ever lost, even those which do not seem to materialise in concrete action. We must yearn for closeness with the Ribono Shel Olam .The simple yearning of a Yid for Hashem, is a remarkably precious thing.
The main obstacle to the avodah of ga’aguim, yearning for holiness, is our lack of faith in its power. The tzaddikim teach that the yetzer hara has no permission to take away a Jew’s desire for holiness. Even when a Jew feels trapped and totally disconnected from Yiddishkeit and Hashem, he forever maintains his capacity to yearn for the holiness he is so distant from.
We can all find our way back, if we can tap into the desire that is always present whether we know it or not.
The Gemoro relates: One day, Rabbi Yochanan was bathing in the Jordan River. Reish Lakish saw him and jumped into the Jordan, pursuing him. At that time, Reish Lakish was the leader of a band of theives. Rabbi Yochanan said to Reish Lakish: Your strength is fit for Torah study. Reish Lakish said to him: Your beauty is fit for women. Rabbi Yochanan said to him: If you return to the pursuit of Torah, I will give you my sister in marriage, who is more beautiful than I am. Reish Lakish accepted upon himself to study Torah. Subsequently, Reish Lakish wanted to jump back out of the river to bring back his clothes, but he was unable to return, as he had lost his physical strength as soon as he accepted the responsibility to study Torah upon himself. Rabbi Yochanan taught Reish Lakish Tanach and taught him Mishna, and turned him into a great man. Eventually, Reish Lakish became one of the outstanding Torah scholars of his generation. It starts with desire.
The Holy Redomsker Rebbe in Tifferes Shlomo quotes this Gemoroh with an interesting addendum from Pirkei D’Rabi Elazar. He notes that the bandits that had been part of the inner circle of Reish Lakish died on the same day as him. In Shomayim they noticed how much honour he was being given. They were angered and confused complaining that he was a bandit just like them. When they were told that he had changed and now was a Torah giant they pleaded to become Torah scholars. But it was too late, they had died and could not achieve anything where they were. If we understood how precious every day is and contemplate the possibility that it might be our last , each day will be filled with a passionate desire to actually come close to Hashem and to want to come close to Hashem. We often get so fixated on results that we forget to appreciate the early stages of desire. As the academic year comes to an end and as we begin to see Rosh Hashana on the horizon let us all remind ourselves of the absolute imperative to praise desire. We cannot and will not always be successful in actualising or realising our desires, but we can and must desire.
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