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Parashat Vayeishev

Vayeishev

Picture the scene two friends see each other in the distance, they run with open arms smiles as wide as their faces, They meet, hug, squeal and spend a moment in a tight embrace. A true moment of love. Not so. Because what we cannot hear are the thoughts in one of the friends mind. They went something like this.

“Oh no, not her, she’s seen me, I cant escape, oh she’s running towards me her arms are open, I better copy her, ok … so I’m running now, I feel so stupid, she wants to hug, alright I can cope, step 1 – smile, step 2 bigger smile, step 3 open arms really wide, step 4 close arms around her and don’t let go first, step 5 squeal.”

We all great people throughout the day but as we don’t really want to know how they are but are asking because we are supposed to, we don’t pay attention to the answer they give. If you are not convinced, try this experiment. The next time you are asked how you are, give an unusual response. Most likely the person will say that’s nice or I’m good to, even if you claimed to have been taken by aliens to find water on Mars.

This week the Torah describes the relationship Joseph had with his brothers.

“Lo yachlo dabro leshalom- and they could not speak with him peacefully.

The famed medieval commentator Rashi provides an interesting twist on what appears to be something negative.

Says Rashi: From what is stated to their discredit, we may learn something to their credit, that they did not say one thing with their mouth and think differently in their heart

So here we have a verse apparently condemning the brother’s conduct. Rashi’s gloss puts gives the verse a different meaning. The verse is praising the brothers for not being fake. Unlike our two friends before the brothers made it very clear how they felt about each other. Relationships are tough and families are often the breading ground for resentment and anger. But families must also be the place where we strip away the image we portray to keep up appearances and be true to ourselves. In a age where wearing fake, owning fake has become socially acceptable we must remember that in human relationships we should always be real.

Smarter Torah with Rabbi Benjy Rickman

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